I am having quite a social dilemma and I can’t talk to any of my best friends because we are in different states or are busy, this includes my roommate.
The problem is that I am in love with one of my best friends (not one that I was referring to above). BUT I don’t know what to do about it.
To provide a little background, this friend was a coworker and we became friends instantly. Within 6 months we were inseparable and we got each other’s name tattooed on our wrists. The problem why nothing happened back during this time was because she was trying to get over a relationship (they broke up because he was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and he didn’t want to have her watch him deteriorate) and because she is thirteen years older than me and has a 13 year old son.
Another issue was that we both knew that I was leaving to go to school within the next couple months and didn’t want to start anything. This whole thing was a conversation that was never had, as in… we never admitted that we ever had feeling for each other.
When I went to school, the first three months were absolutely horrible, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but her and her son, whom I love very much. The whole time all I could do is think about her, and couldn’t wait to come see her. She was the reason why I went home so much my first quarter at school, although I will never tell anyone.
The only reason that I stayed in school was for them, which is ironic. I stayed because I wanted to be able to provide for them like they deserve to be cared for. I wanted to get a better degree so that we could live comfortably and she didn’t have to worry about money anymore and being a single mother. She deserves not to worry about of that and enjoy life, and I wanted, and still do want to be the one that is there by her side.
Well, one of the weekends that I went home, I was talking to another coworker and told her about my feelings about this person, and she (the coworker) told me that she had actually asked our friend if there was something between us, and she (friend that I like) responded with maybe, but she is off at school and after she gets some life under her belt there could be a possibility.
By the end of my first quarter she had had two small relationships with different guys, and my hopes were starting to fade. That was when I met a girl that soon became my girlfriend and her and I dated for almost a year, broke up last December and all of these feeling were Fall 2011.
Well, to get to the present, ever since my relationship ended, and my friend’s last relationship ended, we have been talking a lot and all of my feelings are coming back for her, but I don’t know if I should tell her or not and if we should have that discussion.
BUT, I will be at school for another year, as in I graduate June 2014 if I don’t add any things to my class load; even then I want to go to grad school for sociology and want to get my PhD after that too.
So… should I tell her even though I know that I won’t be able to be with her for at least a year?
We both know that long distance relationships suck and do more harm that good, but we both joke around about each other’s perfect match and me moving in after I graduate if I return back to the area.
I feel like telling her would make it worse because we probably couldn’t be together for a while anyways and it could hurt her, which is the last thing that I want.
I am just so conflicted about what to do!