Racism, Appropriation, and The Harlem Shake – a must read!

The Book: Beautiful Creatures

I would rate Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl 3 out of 5.

This was the first book that I have read in quite a long time, but it lacked some crucial information.

The authors writing style was confusing at times because when people were talking in the book and they were using quotations, they didn’t attribute it to what character, so half the time I had to guess who was saying what and hoped that it made sense.

Also, the book is from the view of Ethan Wate who is trying to understand Lena Duchannes and her family, so the information that is given at times is very vague about Lena and her family.

Finally, the ending was just cut off. It did have an awesome ending that made you realize a lot of things, but after the big “action scene,” the book just ends. It was definitely written with the intention of a sequel, but it was almost too cut off for me to want to read the second one.

I did enjoy reading the authors bios about how one wanted to be a sci fi and fantasy writer and the other wanted to write about the South, which is how they joined together and wrote this book. I did enjoy learning all of these different things about the South and a small town in the South, but if it wasn’t for the movie previews that fascinated me and made me buy the book on Amazon to read it. I wouldn’t have just picked up the book at the book store and bought it.

I read the book because it did keep me going and was really interesting and good, just some points bothered me enough to probably not want to read the rest in the series, although I do plan on going to see the movie because I am curious if it is similar to the book.

I need relationship advice

I am having quite a social dilemma and I can’t talk to any of my best friends because we are in different states or are busy, this includes my roommate.

The problem is that I am in love with one of my best friends (not one that I was referring to above). BUT I don’t know what to do about it.

To provide a little background, this friend was a coworker and we became friends instantly. Within 6 months we were inseparable and we got each other’s name tattooed on our wrists. The problem why nothing happened back during this time was because she was trying to get over a relationship (they broke up because he was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and he didn’t want to have her watch him deteriorate) and because she is thirteen years older than me and has a 13 year old son.

Another issue was that we both knew that I was leaving to go to school within the next couple months and didn’t want to start anything. This whole thing was a conversation that was never had, as in… we never admitted that we ever had feeling for each other.

When I went to school, the first three months were absolutely horrible, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but her and her son, whom I love very much. The whole time all I could do is think about her, and couldn’t wait to come see her. She was the reason why I went home so much my first quarter at school, although I will never tell anyone.

The only reason that I stayed in school was for them, which is ironic. I stayed because I wanted to be able to provide for them like they deserve to be cared for. I wanted to get a better degree so that we could live comfortably and she didn’t have to worry about money anymore and being a single mother. She deserves not to worry about of that and enjoy life, and I wanted, and still do want to be the one that is there by her side.

Well, one of the weekends that I went home, I was talking to another coworker and told her about my feelings about this person, and she (the coworker) told me that she had actually asked our friend if there was something between us, and she (friend that I like) responded with maybe, but she is off at school and after she gets some life under her belt there could be a possibility.

By the end of my first quarter she had had two small relationships with different guys, and my hopes were starting to fade. That was when I met a girl that soon became my girlfriend and her and I dated for almost a year, broke up last December and all of these feeling were Fall 2011.

Well, to get to the present, ever since my relationship ended, and my friend’s last relationship ended, we have been talking a lot and all of my feelings are coming back for her, but I don’t know if I should tell her or not and if we should have that discussion.

BUT, I will be at school for another year, as in I graduate June 2014 if I don’t add any things to my class load; even then I want to go to grad school for sociology and want to get my PhD after that too.

So… should I tell her even though I know that I won’t be able to be with her for at least a year?

We both know that long distance relationships suck and do more harm that good, but we both joke around about each other’s perfect match and me moving in after I graduate if I return back to the area.

I feel like telling her would make it worse because we probably couldn’t be together for a while anyways and it could hurt her, which is the last thing that I want.

I am just so conflicted about what to do!

I hate clothing shopping…

This is a strange concept, I know.

I went to the mall this weekend with one of my best friends and two girls that she is majoring with. We were having fun for the most part, getting some groceries and stuff. Well, when we actually got to the mall, they all went into the preppy stores like American Eagle and Forever 21. I joined them so that we would stay together and so I can give them advice if needed on clothes, which is a stereotypical friends that are girls thing.

But we went into Old Navy, which does have some guy clothing compared to the others that we were looking at, and I went to the guy section because I love their sweaters. All the girls that I was with looked at me like I was weird, and didn’t like that I was over there.

From that point on, I wouldn’t look at the guy clothing because I knew that they would judge me again. I kept peeking my eyes over there because I like them, but I wouldn’t let the girls know.

I like girl clothes, don’t get me wrong, but at the stores we were shopping at specifically, I would have rather looked at the guys, and worn the guy clothes, because I feel more myself in those type of clothes than the revealing ones that they have for girls to wear.

It just bothers me so much that genders play such a huge role in our society. If I am not feminine then I am being deviant in this society. American culture has so much emphasis on males being masculine and females being feminine, it drives me absolutely insane.

What do you think of this stereotype? Is it true? What other cultures does this happen in?

everyone assumes that I am only attracted to women.

I identify as bisexual and people don’t seem to understand that.

I was recently dating a woman, and since I’m out to everyone (classmates, professors, friends, family – for the most part), I had no problem with telling them I was in a relationship with a woman.

Well, sometime just before the end of that relationship, I told my professor/adviser that I was going to watch Magic Mike with some friends at the university theatre, and she turned to me and asked, “Oh, is that funny for you or something?” and I replied, “What do you mean funny?” and she said, “Well you’re gay so why do you like going to see a movie about male strippers?”… I looked at her with shock on my face, “I’m not gay…. I like guys and girls.” and she was like, “Oh, I had no idea. I just assumed that since you were dating a woman that you were gay.”

Needless to say, I’ve had this happen about half a dozen times since people found out I was in a relationship with a woman and was “out.”

I even had a close friend recently do this. I had talked to her about my relationship, since it had just ended, and was like now I can find myself a new companion and since I knew that she didn’t really know any other gay women, I asked her if she knew any single guys that I would get along with. She looked at me so shocked that it was apparent that she didn’t know I was into both guys and girls, I explained it to her and we moved on. No harm done.

But it just boggles my mind that everyone just assumes that I’m straight… or gay. I apparently can’t be attracted to both. Honestly I don’t feel there is a difference between the genders or sexes. I don’t care about what they are, but rather who they are. It’s their personality, love, and affection that I’m after, whatever body part that they have doesn’t matter to me.

This kinda means that I do identify as pansexual, which means that I’m not limited in my sexual choice because of gender or sex and that I love anyone and everyone, but I’m not willing to take up that label (which I hate, but is for another conversation) since I have never experienced a relationship or feeling for someone that is trans or doesn’t identify with one gender.

BTW, I in no way say that I am a professional with these terms and definitions, but try to use them as accurately as I can. I also do not speak for anyone besides my self. Every person is different and I will not speak with them because I don’t know their story or situation.

reading my first comic book

Last night I began reading my first comic book. I those Thor out of the Marvel superheroes because I feel out of all of the Avengers I don’t know him well enough.

I have previous knowledge about the other Avengers featured in the new movie, but I feel like he is still a mystery for me and I wanted to learn more.

(BTW, I love both DC and Marvel comics, I just chose Marvel because I’ve been watching the TV series, Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, and wanted to learn more.)

I am reading this:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/essential-thor-volume-1-jack-kirby/1100260108

It is already boggling my mind with questions. I know that movies change small things, but I feel like changing where Thor came from is a big deal.

What I mean is that in this comic that I am reading, Thor is actually Dr. Don Blake, who can transform into Thor, whom he remembers hearing stories about as a child, and says that he is the God of Thunder and all that jazz.

I’m not very far into it to really say what is going on, whether the comic book (written by Stan Lee, of course) is accurate with the whole Blake thing, or if the movie Thor with Chris Hemsworth is the real story or…. if that is just the original Thor before he hides his hammer and that is when Blake finds it…

Oh so many questions, hopefully I will figure them out soon, because this is beginning to mess up my studies haha.

why must people and this culture be anti-gay

I went to the movies last Friday and watched A Haunted House, which is supposed to be a parade movie of Paranormal Activity.

Just as most parody movies are, I knew it was going to be absolutely ridiculous and was prepared for it, but one part just won’t settle with me.

The scene was that the boyfriend was away, I don’t remember if he was listening to music or out with his friends, and so the girlfriend was sleeping alone. The ghost appears and proceeds to have sex with her, and she thinks it is her boyfriend.

The next morning, the boyfriend watches the tape and finds out what happens, shows the girlfriend who was like whoops, but that night dressed up, wanting it to happen again because it was obviously better than her boyfriend.

Well the girl gives up and goes into the bathroom to change or do whatever and the ghost appears, and has sex with the boyfriend.

They showed when the girl and the ghost had sex, and when the guy and ghost had sex.

When the guy was having sex with the ghost, it showed that the guy hated it and didn’t want it.

The audience was laughing and saying oh that sucks, and one guy even got up and left saying, “I don’t want to see that gay shit.” He came back five minutes later to finish the movie, but I was so mad that this culture that I am a part of would just teach so many people to be afraid of something that they don’t understand; to judge something that they won’t even take a minute out of their day to try and educate themselves.

Throughout the entire movie, they had a stereotypical gay guy in the movie as well, always trying to hit on the boyfriend. Cause gay guys always go for the straight men, and no matter how many times that they say they aren’t gay, they still are, and the gay guy will keep trying.

It just boggles my mind how obvious this culture is to still being anti-gay. Most people just shrug it off and say it is just a movie, but after how many movies of watching that behavior, is it going to stop being ok?

taking my cat to college (and apparently reminiscing death)

Tomorrow I am heading back to school, and I am bringing my kitty with me.

I have two 5 year old cats, they are twin brothers and I call them my boys. Last November, one of them had to be put down because he was very sick and had been for a couple months and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

Nate, the one that is still alive and lives with my parents, has been really lonely and crying at night when he is alone. The first week was really hard on him, I knew that, I came home the day after they put Miles down cause it was Thanksgiving break, and it was hard to see him like that.

Death effects me in a really weird way, even if it is a pet. See… My best friend died when we were both six years old, and ever since I can remember it takes me months to understand and to come to terms with it.

My grandma on my mother’s side of the family passed away when I was in 9th grade (2007), and that still haunts me today and I am sad about it because we talked every day.

A year before that, my cousin committed suicide. He hung himself from a barn on Mother’s Day and it tore our school apart. He was bullied and it finally got the best of him. Over that whole weekend, this happened on a Sunday, another boy took his life that was a year younger than my cousin, and then a girl at the high school also killed herself. Officials still think it was a pact of some kind but I just think it is a devastating coincidence. It was a tough couple months at school.

Then my next round of death was my other grandma, on my dad’s side, which was in 2010. She died exactly one week after my nephew was born, and that really made me lose it. Se had a heart attack that she just couldn’t recover from, but she was able to say goodbye to her three children, and I am happy my dad got that closer, but I will never forget seeing her in that hospital bed.

Somewhere between 2007 and 2010, my best friend (the one that died when I was a kid), his older brother passed away at 20 from a sudden heart attack, which was a huge shocker…

Anyways… Whenever someone passes away I think about all of the other people that passed before them, and as the pile gets larger, so does my recovery time.

I am taking Nate with me to school so that I can be with him, and so that he has a buddy (my new roommate has a kitten) and not be alone anymore.

Who knew all of that would be said just about me taking my cat with me to college, haha.

Below is my cat, Nate.

D&D

I played dungeons and dragons for the first time last Wednesday. It was amazing. It was version 4.0 and I was a half-elf cleric. It was a beginner game, so all but the DM and another player were new players.

It was hard for me to get the hang of the game, but eventually I started to figure it out. The role-playing was difficult because I didn’t know what I could really do or ask, but I started to take the initiative after I felt more comfortable with it.

Sorry, I had to be a nerd haha. I just feel successful at getting back to my roots.

I will definitely be playing more campaigns. 🙂

When I get some more cash, I am definitely buying the player handbooks so I learn more and get better. Haha

That’s all folks, til next time. Au revoir!